Butt-Kicking Work

Judging from its event description, the AIANY Women in Architecture Forum Panel: Practice and Motherhood was meant to be uplifting. Ten women panelists were to explain how they balanced a notoriously demanding job with the practice of architecture. And because remote work and new office flexibility have changed workplaces for the better, career advancement no longer must come at the expense of, say, missing bathtime routines.

But the tone of the actual discussion was noticeably more mixed—perhaps best summed up by the testimony of Annelise Pitts, an associate at Shepley Bulfinch who had just returned from an extended maternity leave. “Despite having run a working group all about making architecture a more equitable place for women and mothers, being a mom kicked my butt anyways,” she said.

The panelists, each representing a different family structure and level of professional experience, shared numerous stress points. In a field where many women have children on the later end, expensive, often grueling fertility treatments come into play, as the young mothers on the stage relayed. Many were honest about the challenges of childcare, whether it was provided by nannies or grandparents, as well as negotiations with partners who don’t uphold their side of the division of household labor. Some felt moved toward pursuing purpose-driven work, while others leaned in the opposite direction. (“If my child asks why I missed her childhood I cannot say it was [for] luxury residential,” said Pitts. Diana Lui, an associate at Steven Harris Architects, countered that luxury residential helped pay for private school for her kids.) No one seemed to be getting much sleep.

Although a few candid moments about the triumphs of parenting were sprinkled throughout the talk, emphasis was placed on structural and cultural factors. Pay equity and true understanding of demands placed upon mothers are necessary to make mothering in architecture, not only possible, but desirable. Toward the end of the conversation, I was left wondering why there were only five men in the otherwise packed hall and why no similar panel was being held for architect-fathers. For me, the most revealing tidbit came before the panel. As the women gathered around one another preparing to speak, one interjected: “You know, the next time we hold this event we really should put together a budget for childcare.”